Not Asking for Help is Dangerous and Unwise

The longer I live the more I am amazed at how so many of our cultures- especially Western cultures- have a subtle and not so-subtle habit of perpetuating behaviors that are illogical, dangerous, and downright insane, if you ask me. There are many but this one of "not asking for help" from others is really at the top of the charts. Where did we ever get such a ridiculous idea that we "have to do it all by ourselves"? NOTHING in life does it "all by itself"- we are totally inter-dependent every second of our lives- we would not be able to breathe, eat, grow, propogate and do ANYTHING if it were not for the help of others, the ecosystem, the planet, etc.

I know this sounds pretty obvious, but do you know how hard it is for most of us to really ask another for help, and I am not talking about huge life or death stuff but basic day to day routines? Why is it so difficult? In the recent "Harvesting your Wisdom" online group that I run we went into this subject and it was very inspiring to hear honest reflections of older wise women about how they have evolved and changed over the years.

There are many reasons people DON'T reach out for help, in fact research has shown that 70% of people do so only after things get "really bad"...not the best time to do that, to be sure. Here are some reasons:

1. Fear of vulnerability- I will look "weak".

2. I will be rejected.

3. It is not considered "right" in my culture

4. My pride or ego

5. Guilt or shame

6. I can't trust the person I am with on this

7. "They should be aware of what I am going through and offer help"

8. I really, really don't want to burden somebody else with "my problems"

Probably like so many other things, people need to be taught, role-modeled and exposed to the benefits of getting other people's advice, assistance and the dangers of doing it alone. If you are one of those people who find it difficult, there is always an opportunity to change the paradigm. My guess is once you do you won't go back to where you were.

We live, breathe, develop, evolve, exist and give meaning together.

Admitting a weakness is a strength – Gary Vaynerchuk